trust

when do you start to trust someone? is it upon first meeting them, or taking to them? or is it when you start to get to know them? how do you trust someone when they do you wrong? can you truly ever forgive them? some way and some how i always find my trust being taken back from people. it's a heart pain tonight but non the less pain. it seems i always put to much out there and just get treated like shit. today i felt i was talked down to and mistreated. it seems i am always underappreciated. i know i should never be talked down to but when it happens, im to taken back by shock to truly say what i want to them. i just hate putting myself out there and then getting hurt. i know this what some call the process of life but it makes me so hesitant to put my self out there time and time again. im in a place of confusion. it was only five short years ago around this time that i tried to take my life. it still hits me as hard as it did the day after. i cant believe that i ever got so depressed that i tried to end my own life. how can one person hate life enough to just say good by? im just in a thinking mood tonight cause of what happened today but i know i will be strong and surely get over it... " your eyes have got to do some raining if your ever going to grow."