it is insane how much time has gone by this year. this is the year i turned 21, went to vegas, had my heart broken, and found out who my true and real friends were. it seems like just yesterday was the first of the year. so much is going on in life it just gets to be to much at some points. i feel i just need to climb to the top of a mountain to escape it all. i had my very first, funnest ever, st. patties day with all of my best friends, well most of them! we of course went out and had some drinks but it was just nice to cut loose for a night with out all the b.s. and drama that life has been bringing to me and all of my friends lately... it has been poring drama for almost every one that i know. life is going at the moment... im very nervous about tomarro... i am going to ask my mother if i can get the lap band surgery... i have to ask her if she would help with funds for the operation. it is up in the air as to what she will say but i have to do this for myself. before i lose myself in the weight to my emotions or physically. its already set in, the depression that i have from failed attempts of keeping this weight off. yes i have lost 70 pounds before... i kept it off for maybe a week after eleven months of hard ass work. the problem with going to a bording school for weightloss and coming back into the same situation that you left, is that you get thrown back into the fighting and heart ache and pain that was what you tried to escape. the problem is if your situation doesnt change then neither will your habits, friends habits, or your families. two days after coming home from school after being gone for almost a year, i was told i still wasnt as small as my step-mother... i was a size twelve wearing a medium shirt that was two big. it just seems if i am small or big weight is always an issue with the people im around. it makes me feel like such a big dissapointment. many people have mad sure i feel like shit for it to....
reguardless here are some pics from the wild night
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