why is it girls are always left hurt. no matter how much they say they wont or that they are different, they just aren't. this is a bit from the book i am writting.
I always give them some part of me. We give one part of ourselves to everyone. Weather it be a part of our past, our present, or our future. If seems we are always giving and losing. However if we are giving, this means that we are receiving a part of some one else, as they are losing to us. It is just one big cycle that we need to understand that as much as we give away and loose, we are always gaining and receiving. Bits and pieces of one another. Male or female, boyfriend of girlfriend, what ever. We are always willing to give and receive bits and pieces of one another. The things I gave and shared with Joe are between he and I. Sure I can tell you all about how much we shared and cared, but you will never feel it the way that Joe and I do and did. Knowing so much about another can be scary, but it can help them and you get to know them. It will help you understand each other and yourself as a person. I guess it’s the same with annonomus. Only he and I know what we shared and what we felt, what I felt. I can truly never know if he meant what he said when he said he loved me or when he said he didn’t care about me. We will never know how we may have impacted the other person. We can only hope it was all in the right ways. They will never know how much the effected us. But what I do know is how you can express your feelings to one another and how you have changed each other. With each person that leaves your life, they let room in for some one else to come in that you are supposed to met at this point in your life. To carry you to the next point in your life. Joe helped me close a huge chapter in my life. He helped me reflect on my time at AOS. He helped me shake Peter. And he helped me stay sober. However the best thing he did was show me how to cope with a break up. The first heart break I experienced I was able to drink, smoke, pill pop, and almost chop my leg off. This time though I had to actually let myself feel the pain of love. I had to experience the pain of losing another and self soothing.
for some reason i started thinking about my relationship with joe when a friend had told me what happened to her today. i remember reflecting on it to write my book. but i do think this blurb is true. we do give pieces of ourselves to people no matter the circumstance or relationships.
just something to chew on for the moment.
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